


forget what it’s like to be dead

by kiden



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Getting Together, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Wizengamot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 11:18:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20723345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiden/pseuds/kiden
Summary: it’s a long summer after the battle of hogwarts in which there’s plenty of time to think. the malfoys are on trial and some surprising people have come to testify on their behalf.  you can’t hide light in the dark.





	forget what it’s like to be dead

**Author's Note:**

> harry potter is about to testify on the malfoys behalf let’s listen in after this break for a set-up

The first owl comes on a Thursday morning, only two weeks after the end of all things. It’s a beautiful bird - soft grey and white, with big friendly eyes - and it swoops in through the open garden doors, bringing with it wet, earthy smells of spring’s end. It comes to rest on the bedpost, makes a gentle cooing sound, and shakes it leg until the rolled parchment it carries slips off. And then it’s gone, back out through the doors without waiting for a reply. 

The paper unfurls at the slight twitch of Andromeda’s wand. It’s too far away to read properly, but she knows the handwriting. It’s not the first letter Harry Potter has sent. The bird, however, is new.

She summons the parchment to her outstretched hand, not daring to move and disturb the vigil she’s keeping. Teddy is safe next to her in bed, warm and cradled in the messy blankets, his face pink and happy as he gums at his tiny fist. And across her lap, Narcissa lies, as she has for days, with her eyes open but not seeing. Andromeda brushes her hair back, runs the knots out with her fingers, and stays with her. 

It’s all she can do under the heaviness of what she’s lost. They stay in bed and cry and cry and, if it wasn’t for Teddy, maybe Andromeda would never rise again. Just lie with her heartbreak until time takes her, too. 

Careful not to disturb her sister, Andromeda floats the parchment in front of her, and begins to read. 

Harry has written a few times in the last weeks. Has written his condolences, his concern for his godson and Andromeda’s well-being. But this letter is not any of that. And it’s not for her. 

“Cissy,” she whispers, as she pets Narcissa’s hair back, her head resting in Andromeda's lap. “Harry Potter has written to you.” 

She does not speak but her fingers clench around the blankets by Andromeda’s knee. She’s listening. So she reads to her: 

_ Dear Mrs Malfoy, _

_ It’s twice I’ve been saved by the love of a mother. My mother’s love saved from Voldemort the first time. And your love for your son saved me now. I will find a way to thank you properly for your bravery. I hope you are well, and safe.  _

_ Harry _

Narcissa turns her face into the blankets over Andromeda’s thighs, as she begins to shake and cry. She whispers  _ Draco,  _ and her voice trembles and breaks around his name. It’s the same way she herself calls for Nymphadora, during the nights she can’t sleep through the pain, and the half-awake moments, before her eyes open, when she almost forgets. Sometimes the hurt is sharp and burns. Other times it suffocates.

They call her widow now, the left side of the bed empty and cold without her husband. There’s no word for a mother who loses a child. 

Teddy gurgles and heaves as if he might cry, but the sisters arrange themselves on the bed, curling their bodies around the infant to keep him safe and warm. Andromeda bounces her knees gently, rocking Teddy until he falls into a peaceful slumber. She used to do the same for Nymphadora. 

“I can’t stand to think of him there,” Narcissa cries softly. Her face is red and wet with tears. “I’m sorry, sister. I shouldn’t -.”

Andromeda takes her hand, resting carefully on Teddy’s small chest, and says, “There are many types of pain, my love. Yours is just as real as mine.” 

Outside the sun sets but neither of them find much sleep in the dark.

* * *

Draco is released from Azkaban on a Wednesday. The Ministry gives no reason - he’s let go into Andromeda’s care, quite abruptly, and placed under house arrest until his upcoming trial is held. As the Aurors reinforce the wards around her home, the ones that were keeping Narcissa in as if she could find the strength to leave, Andromeda pays them no mind. 

There is so little of her family left. All of them now fitted under one tiny roof. All of them the shadows cast by people they can no longer be. 

Draco is so thin he seems brittle. His face ashen, the skin around his eyes as dark as bruises and cheeks sunken in. The shape of his face reminds her of Bellatrix - it’s pointy chin and nose - and it sends a shiver through her. It feels as cold as a ghost. 

Narcissa takes his face in her hands and when she falls to her knees Draco falls with her. She cries and Draco holds her, shields her tears with his thin arms wrapped around her shoulders. It’s a long time before they move, and then it’s only to sleep. 

The second owl post comes the next day - another Thursday. Harry Potter’s grey and white owl perches outside the kitchen window, tapping her beak against the pane until Andromeda let’s her in. She hoots, a pretty song of a thing, and spreads her long wings to bring her upstairs. 

He’s sleeping in Nymphadora’s room. For some reason that warms to life a bit of the numbness inside her. 

Later, when Draco comes down for lunch, he sits in the garden with Teddy. The weather is fair and Teddy’s hair is white-gold today, just like Draco’s, and they both shine in the midday sun. They coo to each other in secret and whenever he begins to shake Teddy wraps his hand around one of Draco’s fingers and steadies him. 

In the kitchen, Narcissa says, “I haven’t cooked like this since I was a girl!”

They cook seasoned lamb and roasted potatoes and vegetables fresh from the garden. A heavy, sweet frosted cake and pudding with cream. Sweet spiced pumpkin juice and hot cocoa.

It helps to work, their hands and faces covered with flour and sweat. 

Draco does not let either of them see his letter but he worries the parchment between his finger and thumb as they eat dinner. Rubs the paper until it begins to wear at the places it’s folded. There’s magic there, the way muggles think of it, like wishes and prayers.

* * *

The morning her sister and nephew are called to the Wizengamot, Andromeda spots Harry Potter’s owl sitting on the garden wall. She doesn’t tap her beak against the glass to be let in and has no note attached to her leg. She just watches, head tilting as she follows their movements around the house, from window to window. Occasionally she unfolds her long wings and resettles, almost as if she’s sighing.

The Ministry sends two tired looks Aurors who say little as they spell away the wards around the house. What’s left of The Order sends Bill Weasley, Neville Longbottom, and Luna Lovegood. Narcissa raises her chin but cannot look at the girl. Beside her, Draco goes stiff, his shoulders hunched and tense. 

“They’ve brought a portkey,” Bill says, gesturing back to the Aurors. “It’ll take us to a secure location and then we’ll travel by car. Best to avoid the crowds.”

“Crowds?” Andromeda questions.

“Haven’t been reading the papers, then?” Bill asks, and shrugs. “For the best, no doubt. It’s been a bit of a mess, with all the trials going on.” 

“He’s very cute,” Luna says softly, reaching out to tickle a finger under Teddy’s chin. “What wonderfully pink hair - oh! Look! It’s gone and changed.” 

Teddy’s hair goes from pink to as yellow as a sunflower, to the girl’s delight. 

“He has a fine temperament,” Andromeda says. “I’ve left a note with instructions for you inside, of course. Thank you so much, I -“

When Andromeda goes to hand Teddy off to the Lovegood girl, Neville says, “It’ll be me, actually. I’m very good with kids! I promise. We’re going to have a great time, aren’t we?”

“Oh,” Andromeda breathes, as Teddy goes happily to the boy. “I thought - not you, dear?”

“Oh, no,” Luna says airily. “I’m meant to testify, you see. I spent quite a lot of time imprisoned in their home, you know? The Wizengamot is very interested to hear all about it they say.”

Draco makes a small, aching sound, as if it was ripped from his chest, but stifles the noise when Narcissa takes a strong hold on his elbow. 

“Shall we go then?” Luna says, and takes Draco’s other arm. “They seem to have finished removing the enchantments.” 

“Right,” Bill says, clearing his throat over the awkwardness. “Best be off.” 

As Andromeda kisses Teddy goodbye, from the corner of her eye she sees Harry’s owl push off from the wall. She spreads her great wings and sings as she leaves ahead of them.

  
  



End file.
